Tomorrow I turn forty!
Time sure has a way of flying by. It seems like I just graduated high school. Over the last few days I’ve been thinking back over my life. You know, the good, bad, and other stuff. I’m left with the conclusion that forty isn’t such a bad thing.
The day I turned ten, we flew home from Disneyland. That’s sad enough, but on this particular day John Schneider was due to appear in the park. The Dukes of Hazzard was big then…Real big. And I was sure that Mr. Schneider was the greatest man alive.
At ten I’d lived with my dad and his family for most of the last year. Though I was glad to be included, I struggled with the transition. I was awkward, scrawny, and pretty lost in my own world.
At twenty, I was a newly engaged college student. Though I loved my fiance, I lacked confidence that I could maintain a marriage. Okay, I was sure I’d fail and take someone I loved with me. Life fluctuated between joy and fear. Confidence and faith were rarely in the equation.
By thirty I was surrounded by my tiny children, and I’d become responsible for my grandmother’s financial, medical, and daily decisions. I loved this time, but the fatigue was sometimes overwhelming. At this point, I worried about who I’d be when we stopped having little ones. My identity was granddaughter and mom.
So, where am I now that I’m about to turn 40? Well, my kids are getting older. They’re becoming their own independent people, and I’m loving the opportunity to see them grown into themselves. I’ve been married for nineteen years and it’s better than I ever hoped. I’m working toward being a published novelist, and I’m learning more everyday. I have so many wonderful blessings. For the first time in my life, I feel like I know who I am, and I’m confident that God has a plan for me.
Forty is going to be the best so far!